Like Chocolate When You're Just Over Your Ideal Weight :(

coretan di pagi hari..
you are soo my GUILTY PLEASURE

a year ago, things were downright normal. well except for a few things.. i didnt know what to expect. last year, at the start of year ten.. new school, new friends, new motivation..

not that i dont like it, i was really surprised when it showed up.
old friends said hello.. and we were all about what was going on in our own schools.
it was nice, forgetting the past that - wasnt so nice. :)
we were starting over, and bad impressions went out of my mind.

6 months flew..

they kept me pumped. oh well. its soo hard to disguise what im really trying to say.

the air, without it my lungs feel they have no function. locked up im left suffocated. you know the story.
the sun, needed for life to go on, cycle after cycle, ive bin through like photosynthesis (woelah naab), brings on a cheerful atmosphere everytime it radiates through my soul.

i've had air with me, days & nights, lungfuls, more than enough to keep me going, and im thankful for that.
i've had sun, mostly at nights, no matter how heavy it rained, the sun, was my star too, by day it would chase the clouds away, and by night it would keep me appreciate the stunning beauty of nights, moments of peace which guided me to pleasant dreams, made me hope and not just hope, but actually motivated to do things that seemed impossible to myself if i didnt try..

so i lost my air.

i really felt suffocated. and when the sun surprised me by not radiating its rays again, i was nearly.. lifeless. hard to imagine and predict what would happen next but eventually the sun came out shining like nothing ever happened, and it was one of the most important thing that really made me feel like i had a life! i never thought that was possible.

i never had any intention to betray my air.. but it left me so what else could i do?? i was helpless - despite that the sun kept me going. spent the days and nights (still, mostly nights) with the sun, but i couldnt help feeling guilty. i never could go as far as i could have, if i didnt have any trouble.

je suis maintenant peur que je vais tomber de mon soleil.
si ce que j'avais déjà ressenti cela?





click the picture above if you want to know more.

for now, i swear, i can only let it flow :(