friday and saturday were the best :(

haah apa-apaan ini.
you shouldn't play around with fire. why would you pry up feelings thats been buried, half-buried in her case, if you dont want to commit? are you trying to do this on purpose? you already know everything, everything she told you, don't use it against her and make her feel weak.. she's weak enough already. maybe you think that it's because you need her as one of your best mates but would you still approach someone who had fallen for you, would you still be 'besties' when you've hurt her? that's sick. but on the other hand she doesn't.. seem to mind. play her fake, plastic heart. err. or maybe not so plastic. she can put up with your bullshit alright. she loves them doesn't she. she'd rather live in the bullshit world of words you tell her rather than suffering in one of emptiness and desperation. this cannot be helped.

Fazkia Comes To Indo

Yes, the focus sucks. But this pic was rather hard to take
I had to prop up my cam on 2 ashtrays -_-

yay! i finally met Fuzzy AND Dwenda yesterday, since we had to wait for her to finish her UAN. so we went to fX to have some laughs. and it turned out we all brought cameras hahah which is good good, due to my cam cant adapt so well in certain light conditions -_- sometimes i think it has an outdoor personality (wtf), like its owner LOL.



so we met at 11.40ish and dwen came by some hour later. oh we had fun alright ;) i hope dwen will be able to come with me, fam, fuz and sandra to

Fazki and Dwen xo

GC and even better, Melb! aah hope she can get into PTN, amin so she can save up some money for our trip yay :D my prayers be with you sis.
we ate at Pepper Lunch, awesome mirrors there hahah then made our way all around fX hunting for places. but we couldnt find the place we wanted, so we went to Amadeus. after all the chitchats and lovetalk (nobody's changed, in a good way teehee), we met our parents at Ya Kun Kaya (shame i was too full to try some :p they're one of my favourites). took pics again there, to sum it up. after some time,
we went home. gosh i rly hope we can spend the holidays together this year..

the Sound of Music

last night i watched the Sound of Music for the umpteenth time. i haven't watched it for quite some time, years actually, since we left the vcd at Melbourne (i think), so last weekend surprisingly my mum, wonderful mum bought the original dvd. how cool is that! since its my fave moviee and a family favourite as well. and i decided to watch it last night, ended up finishing at something past 12. i actually learned a few lessons.. might post them later when i have time. anyway here is one of the lyrics, Maria and Liesl sang (the other version of Sixteen going on Seventeen by Liesl and Ralph), which made me quite thoughtful.. hmm.. tell me, what do you think? leave a comment please ;) thankies.

Sixteen Going on Seventeen
Maria: You are sixteen going on seventeen
Waiting for life to start
Somebody kind who touches your mind
Will suddenly touch your heart
Liesl: When that happens, after it happens
Nothing is quite the same
Somehow I know I'll jump up and go
If ever he calls my name
Maria: Gone are your old ideas of life
The old ideas grow dim
Lo and behold you're someone's wife
And you belong to him
You may think this kind of adventure
Never may come to you
Darling sixteen going on seventeen
Wait a year . . .
Liesl: I'll wait a year . . .
Maria: Just wait a year . . .
Maria and Liesl: Or two

addicted to Grey's Anatomy

Meredith Grey: Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.


god i LOVE that quote! love grey's anatomy - and i really will buy the dvds once EVERYTHING school-related is over for the semester.

Dr. Meredith Grey: After all this time, all your warnings about me sleeping with my boss and you're doing the same exact thing.
Dr. Cristina Yang: Oh, it's not the same thing.
Dr. Meredith Grey: It's the exact same!
Dr. Cristina Yang: No, it's not. You and McDreamy are in a relationship.
Dr. Meredith Grey: And you and Burke are in?
Dr. Cristina Yang: Switzerland. It's very neutral there and they make very nice watches.

Cristina: This is me being supportive. Meredith: Really? Cristina: Yeah, fine, I'm totally supportive. Go. Meredith: OK. The man I love has a wife and then he chooses her over me. And that wife takes my dog—OK, she didn't take the dog, I gave it to her, but I didn't mean to give it to her, I meant to give it to him—but that does not change the fact that she's got my McDreamy. And my McDog. She's got my McLife! And what have I got? -sits up-You know, I can't remember the last time we kissed. 'Cause you never think the last time is the last time, you think there'll be more. You think you have forever, but you don't. Plus my conditioner decided to stop working and I think I have brittle bones. I just-I just need something to happen. I need a sign that things are gonna change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope. And in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed and feel like I might die today. Cristina: [throws back blanket] Whatever - everybody has problems. Now get your ass out of bed and get to work. NOW! Move! Move! Move!

CRISTINA: "You're eight feet tall. Your boobs are perfect, your hair is down to there. If I was you I would just walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job, I wouldn't have any skills, I wouldn't even know how to read. I would just be... naked." IZZIE: "It's all makeup. Retouching." CRISTINA: "You get that we hate you, right?"

this one underneath is one of my fave, hahah





Izzie: [standing in the bathroom, outside the shower, where George is] I reminded you before you went.
George: I forgot when I got there.
Izzie: No. [she opens the shower door]
Izzie : No, you were so passive aggressive!
George: Naked! I am naked in the shower!
Izzie: [closes the shower door] Just tampons, George! I really needed tampons. God! [Meredith enters the bathroom] Izzie: I'm not riding in the same car as him.
Meredith: [looks at Izzie, who is standing in her "Hello Kitty" underwear] Unless you're going like that, you're not riding with me either. Where are the tampons?
Izzie: He didn't buy them.
Meredith: [to George] You didn't buy them?
George: Men don't buy tampons!
Izzie [opens the shower door again, and George falls over] You know what? You're gonna have to get over the whole man thing, George! We're women! We have vaginas! Get used to it! [she walks out of the bathroom, leaving George lying on the floor of the shower]
George: I am not your sister! [he slams the shower door]



George (to Meredith): You don't get to choose. I know you've been going through a bad time. I know you miss Shepard. And I know that your life has, admittedly, been pretty unpleasant these days. You get points for breathing in and out. You get to be a little selfish. But you don't get to choose a dog over me... I'm George. I sleep down the hall from you. I buy your tampons. I have held your hand, every time you asked. I've earned the right to be seen. To be respected. To not have you think of me, as less than a dog that you got at the pound. So, I'm not moving out. Whether you like it or not, I'm staying.

Hidden Name Meaning

You Are Dreamy and Distracted

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are full of energy. You are spirited and boisterous. You are bold and daring. You are willing to do some pretty outrageous things. Your high energy sometimes gets you in trouble. You can have a pretty bad temper at times. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it's killing you. You're the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day... and still have the energy to party all night. Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. and here's his: i only pasted the ones that are different to mine You Are Carefree and Passionate "You are incredibly wise and perceptive. You have a lot of life experience. You are a natural peacemaker, and you are especially good at helping others get along. But keeping the peace in your own life is not easy. You see things very differently, and it's hard to get you to budge. You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them." LOL these stuff are quite scary sometimes. I love those sites hahah i found this from a friend's note. its pretty accurate (Y)! wanna try? http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/ enjoy!

mehh

hadooooooooooooooh. udah lah, im tired. im sick of you contacting me. stop it, please, if you start again somehow it turns into pleasure, it makes me smile, i dont want to smile if you're the reason. please. do you think im the only person you can update on your uphill 'career'? i shouldnt have been nice to you today. not even last night, when i regretted the text that i sent in the afternoon. shoot.

im absolutely looking forward to having fun and completely ignoring your messages. NEXT WEEK. IF, we dont meet.

one (not so) fine wednesday

phew, the 3 day period of school starting at 11.30 is finally over! no more "uncontrollable tanning" -___- "why?" you may ask, its becoz since i got back from Bali my skin got tan right (no one believe me that my normal skin colour is almost white), it actually looked NICE, i mean it still looks like reaaally-lightly, toasted bread HAHA kok dibandinginnya sama toast deh oh well u know what i mean, nah tapi pas di jakarta i went out in the sun again, jadi agak men-dark dan tercampurlah tan-nya Bali dan "tan" nya Jakarta, which is not good people, not good. jadinya mencoklat gitu tapi anehhh ew like dirty brown. hahaha. ditambah bokap gw yg suka ngajak berenang while he and my mum goes fitnessing. sumpah kayanya ga terlalu worth it deh krn skrg di PI itu weekends 50! najong mana gw berenang cuma 1-1.5 jam krn takut iteem haha cepet panasnya sih makanya mesti jam 6 dari rumah bahkan kurang dari itu. ckck.

yang menyebalkan adalah for the last 3 days i went naik metro and its so freakin HOT. maksud gw cuacanya, gila panas terik dan POLUSI DIMANA MANA ya ya ampuun. gw bukannya ngeluh and dont think that im a spoiled bitch who goes everywhere with a car, i mean i go home by bus. tapi supir ibu gw udah bener2 keterlaluan deh. gw cuma minta tlg anterin pagi ini doang, TAPI dia blg ga bisa krn mesti anter bokap gw dari UPH ke kantornya di Tomang, trus jemput adek gw pulang sekolah. padahal adek gw juga keluarnya jam 12.15.. ckck gw dari rumah juga 11.30 ya ampun. nenek gw aja ampe kesel bngt dan cerita ttg keributan yg dia bikin sampe kakek gw marahin dia hahahah mampus kan. dasar emang. grr depan ortu gw doang dia baik2 tapi sama gw, adek gw, kakek dan nenek gw ngga ada sopannya sama skali. sigh.

i cant wait for next week's holiday! why? gue kangen semua temen2 gue. no exceptions! dari temen2 tk, temen sd, sampe temen2 smp dan juga temen2 kelas 1 sma dulu.. ya ampuun rasanya pengen jalan sama semuanya! tapi gw mesti belajar juga nih nyicil buat ub 3 haha parah deh ah gw pengeen bngt mempertahankan prestasi serta kedudukan gw dan kalo bisa (amin) meningkatkannya. setidaknya ga turun lah.. tadi gw sm aul ke ccf beli tiket buat nonton salah satu film yg diadain film festival prancis hihi akhirnya kesampean juga deh, dulu tuh icha suka ngasitau.. tapi baru skarang beneran nontonnya :) pas keluar, ktemu si aphe sama yasintha, haha udah nyampe aja mereka disitu dari sekolah.

oh yea one wonderful news : ALHAMDULILLAH BIO GW GA ADA YANG REMED SAMA SEKALI! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAY makasih ya Allah gw bersyukur bngt akhirnyaa setelah sekian lamaa gw bisa ga remed juga! sebel bngt gila pas kls 1 sm bu Diah tuh gw cuma pernah remed SATU KALI dan itu hanya SATU INDIKATOR pas UB PERTAMA SEMESTER 1 KELAS X! gila mana essay terus dulu, tapi alhamdulillah ya lancar.. hihi terimakasih ya Tuhan. ya gw masih sedih ttg OSN bio yang gw ga jadi, mana buat bhs inggris di batalin deh kayanya. ga mungkin diadainnya terpisah, orang yg lain udah seleksi jaksel gitu.. ckck. ya mungkin emang udah bukan jalannya, and there's a better thing for me waiting down the end of the road.. semoga rona, lintang sm bimo masuk 25 besar, amin.

cheers,
nvy xo

come again?

seriously i dont know what is going on in his mind. YESTERDAY afta school i arrived rather wet because of the damned rain (thankfully it wasnt that bad), got my mob out of my bag and there was a message from him. i smiled smugly. muhahaha ada apa ini anak sms sms gw lagi! kangen? kenjenben. z z so ya basa basi gitu as usual."nab, apa kbr?" kabar pantat, pegel. ahelah ya so i answered it. trus ngobrol gt trus minta doain buat yg dia ke bali training camp. hedeeeeh capeknya. trus pake " =D" segala lagi. cahh. "makasih nab =D" trus kan online gitu dan tb2 nykpnya mau pake komp, dia blg tapi masih pengen ngobrol nab, sms aja ya? hmm gw blg ya boleh tapi ga bisa lama2 coz i have homework hehe trus dia blg oh yaudah besok aja (or smacam itu lah i forgot). ga mau ganggu, hehe. oke. byeeeeeeee (gw dengan semangat akhirnya the conv ended haha).
yasu dia off trus ga lama kemudian dia sms, "nab sori i couldnt go online for long. i promise tomoz ya :D ?" HAH? PAKE PROMISE SEGALA?? yaoloh im not even sure gw bisa online malem hari ini haha. theres that freakin sinem proposal urgh and i bet i'll be the one who's gonna type some -_- males les les bener2 udah holiday spirit nih gw! haha parah.

but i cant deny that after all that, malemnya gw agak insom gitu sih baru tidur jam 11 (thats my type of insom which is not really an insom haha). and gw like, masih pengen cerita2 gitu jadinyaa, ah ga tau lah. like i just caught up with an old friend. aduh. tuh kan emang susah deh kalo cowo deket sm gw. hahaha ive always wanted an older brother :'( thats why i like guy bestfriends but its hard and hardly works because if i dont fall for him, HE would fall for me. susah2. rasanya pengen gitu, lately ive bin finding that image of brother-sister thing in class (ya, ga usah susah2 nyarinya). the only guy-best-friend i have, a PURE one without any of those sick feelings is preste, but somehow.. the satisfaction isnt there. (haha does that sound wrong? i dont mean like loveydovey stuff no of course not, we're talking about besties anyway). so yea. its hard.. life is about learning to cope with it though and im not complaining :)

oh ya, another thing. i just opened fb and cakra's profile pic, it was the one at his bday where i was next to him with all of our friends but he cropped it, and it was only me and him? hmm i dont rly agree with that.. haha males bngt kalo ka affan/affin ngeliat pasti dicak2in lagi -_-
but iam quite thrilled to hear that ghaly, yes angie's long lost gebetan from junior high, USED TO BE AS CRAZY AS HER. wow. gila. unbelievable! dan pernah ngaku she was HIS GIRLFRIEND. wow. i hope wonderful things would come for her soon. amin :)

oficially, (too not) over you

what is wrong with me. i had to delete some of my inbox contents because it was (as usual) showing 95% full. but as i went through of course i just had to peek in some of his. you know how i can never tell whether what he is saying is the truth or not, but sometimes i believe that.. he is sincere, in most (or less) convos. sigh. bener2 bikin pusing. i think, it was on friday night when i came back from bandung, i cried. yeah. just because i saw the recent pics.. no not because im JEALOUS its finding the fact that i can never be close to him as we are of "BEST FRIENDS" as he say, if we still are. why? for the obvious reasons.
1. different schools
2. we're too busy with our own activities
3. to get free time and spend it to hang out, its just not that.. "important", for us ( i think) because WHAT IS THERE TO DISCUSS WHEN NOTHING IS TO TALK ABOUT? i mean lets face it, hes probably thinking 'oh now that she knows the truth we should never be as close as before, she might like me again' HAH! fuck you if you EVER think of that! do u think your so WOW that ppl soo ADORE you?! damn. but still when i saw those 'sincere' messages, i.. long for an old friend :'( how sad -_- i dont know what to doooo.
he's carved in too deep and probably doesnt know it.

its 9.49 am and school starts at 11.30 from today to wednesday. shoot.

HUAHAHAHHA MY DAD IS SOO TOP AMONG COLLEGE STUDENTS (Y)

yes as you can read.. the title pretty much tells it all. so yesterday on the 6th of april was my dad's birthday. and u know what, i looked at his profile just then and he got a lot of bday messages yesterday! and heres one i picked which is freakin hilarious! im not sure if its from his colleague or mahasiswa (for those who dont know he is a lecturer (is that right?) / dosen, as we call it). but one thing for sure.. its made my day (Y) LMAO

Benedicte Olivia Febe Bangg Yosss!!! Happy Birthdaee!!! Semogaa SBY alias Sebenernya Bang Yos, kepillih lg jadi President RI!!! biar dunia perbankan Indo makin maju!! cihuyy...

Malem2 jalan2 anker,
Kalo laper makan bihun..
Bang Yos emang Banker
Selamat Ulang tahun...

^^ yeaaaa!! sehat selalu, makin brilliant, harmonis selalu ma keluarga, Hidup SBangYos!!! heheheehe....

forgotten things about Monday

oh yea i forgot, jadi kmaren tuh Bu Herni, guru kimia gw cerita2 tentang simak gitu kan. hmh. emang masuk fkui tuh susahhh bngt. kalo pun dapet PMDK, katanya pilih jurusannya yang passing gradenya standar2 aja lah, katanya bgitu. gw denger gitu langsung shock, aaah ya masa gitu sih??! gila gw udah semangat2 begini, mesti nurunin target sih?? yaa semoga aja lah gw tetap termotivasi dan bisa masuk FKUI, amin... parah ah kalo misalnya gw bisa pmdk tapi.. masuk fmipa-biologi (masih untung kalo keterima! haha) tapi rasanya NANGGUNG BANGET.

hmmm. tapi ntah knapa.. rasanya mungkin aja gitu gw bisa. oke, gw tau dan nyadar bahwa masih abnyak orang yang sangat ointer bahkan genius di luar sana yang akan menjadi saingan gw. tapi ENTHA KENAPA i dont know why, i feel like theres some chance in percentage that i will still be accepted (amin)! insya Allah deh, gw belajar dan belajar, intinya terus latihan (kata bu herni) dan bimbel itu sebnernya ngga akan efektif kalo misal kita pulang maleeem terus dan capek krn itu doang, dan akhirnya ga ada waktu buat LATIHAN SOAL di rumah, ya mungkin aja bsia jadi gw ga bimble taun depan. mgkn aja gw tetep bisa privat sama ka aam (amin!!!)

hah! jadi semangat. haha tapi masih capek ni zz, semoga aja papa bisa keterima PR di melb aminn

i have a lot of hopes atm *

angiee :D

i finally met angie today! haha akhirnya, stelah berbulan2 ga jadi2 ktmu, ngaaw i still miss her. an hour wasnt enough. i joked to her about why she didnt ask "her friend" to come along. and she thought, 'what? dantha?" HAHA noo but she got who i meant :p tadi ktmu arlin juga. tau gitu gw ajak fanny juga deh, hehe. its still funny about what she said about 'his' POKERFACE LOL. ya dan ternyata emang he has these 'kecenderungan's yang grrr emang ya bener2 bikin gw kesel dan makin ilfil! iuh. yea iam really over him now. like TOTALLY 100%. not gonna mess with him anymore, no more nice girl. hmmh still pretty tired from ub.. mdan but im glad tomoz is the last dya of school for the week, and the next day we will go to bandung! insya Allah. yaaaaaaaaaayyy!

boys -_-

they're like rain, unpredictable and can come down crashing hard or can be gentle and soft but continuosly gets harder every minute - NVY, 050409 (hey nice date btw!! 5+4=9 (Y))

damn. what is wrong with him?? im like a person who he comes up to when he is bored or feels nothing else can be done. who does he think i am, a rubbish bin of feelings he can vomit in?! fuck up man, youre too confusing!

yesterday after he texted a bit he asked me to go online, which i did because i was already on the computer. but my sister was nagging me to get off so i did, and i said goodbye without any sorries or without showing any "sorry" that i had to go off, he texted me the night and said sorry if he was bothering me..!? i mean wtf i told him the truth why i went off but he didnt seem to believe me. dasar emang. gw aja yang mau TRY to trust you aja IM TRYING tapi kalo lo? no, you dont believe in ANYONE because you LIE TOO MUCH and you CANT trust anyone because you yourself actually cant be trusted by anyone!!

give me the truth and nothing but THE TRUTH and maybe i can be your 'best friend' again. maybe, someday when iam long gone somewhere we'll be too far apart and i'll already have a husband and cute kids. hahaha. so long my friend.

( shut up and stop telling me stories if the they're only stories).

z

hemm dia sms lagi yaudah lah a friend is a friend